Avoid!
1) Looking for the bright side (pro-tip: if you are thinking of saying ‘at least’ just stop)
Instead
1) Acknowledge the pain, don’t minimize or look for the silver lining
Avoid!
2) Forcing common experience (pro-tip: you don’t know what they feel, even if you’ve been through it)
INSTEAD
2) Acknowledge their pain and remind them that you are there and will listen. Share memories and stories.
Avoid!
3) Offering unsolicited advice (pro-tip: if the person grieving didn’t ask what you think they need or should do, keep your thoughts to yourself).
INSTEAD
3) Listen and offer support with what identify as their needs. Only offer advice if you have a concern for the person’s safety and well-being.
Avoid!
4) Projecting into the future.(Pro-tip: if you are thinking about suggesting that it will get easier, that they will meet someone else, or that time heals all wounds, DON’T)
INSTEAD
4) BE PRESENT AND OPEN TO THE PAIN THEY ARE EXPERIENCING. GET COMFORTABLE WITH DIFFICULT EMOTIONS AND AFFIRM THEY DO NOT NEED TO HIDE THEM OR RUSH THEM.